I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
