i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
