he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
