They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
