What did we do last night that was yellow?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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