Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're like the curious george of whores
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
