Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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