girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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