turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
