What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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