dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
