He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize