Kiss
Puke
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
