i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
