32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
