Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
