I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So much rum. So many feels.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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