Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
