it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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