just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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