When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
