i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I love you. Go after that dick
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize