Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
