Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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