I skipped work to stalk him.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
