Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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