Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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