Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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