it wasn't lemon gatorade
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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