Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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