I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
