nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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