why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
