community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
