Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
