oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
