in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
