I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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