:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize