we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
