This is not my ceiling
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
