She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
