There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
