I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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