Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
