i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
