at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
