Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
