Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
