i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
