My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
