So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize