He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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