i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
