the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
