Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize