She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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