White coat. Heels.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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