She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
