I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
