my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I love you. Go after that dick
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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