Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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