Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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