So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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