the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
