If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
