did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
