i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
