so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Girls should come with a carfax report
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
