Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
