it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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