not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
